Gratitude

This is a very different post for me. I don't talk about what's going on in my life, I have a hard time expressing my feelings and deep thoughts, but I need to remember what has happened recently.
It's been a rough few months. We've been really sick (multiple times), Clark's been working like crazy, it's winter (ew!), knee surgery and dr appointments galore, I want to move, big life decisions to make, new callings in church, feelings of loneliness, and on and on and on... I was praying really hard about a few things. But I realized I was praying for things in the wrong way. I was really just expressing my frustration with life and my annoyance with the world. I wasn't really finding much happiness in things and just feeling dull to everything.
I picked up my scriptures and was just reading. And a thought came to my mind, "much is given, much is required." Ooooo humbling moment. Luke 12:48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required
Oh I get it now, wow am I a selfish person. I was just wanting things to happen for me, not really thinking about anybody else, and then I realized, Shelly - Heavenly Father has blessed you immensely, you can give back to him. So my life quickly changed after that. I was finding a lot more joy in my child, not getting upset at Clark about things out of his control, and feeling peace and gratitude. Decisions were coming together and becoming clear for me, and I wasn't getting overwhelmed. Much has been given to me, thus much is required of me.
At church, I was able to witness two big changes, on a stake level and ward level. Both leaderships were being changed around. Our bishop became the 1st counselor of the stake presidency. I am friends with that man's wife, so I was able to get more of the background on how everything went down. Really it all happened in a 48 hour period. I was able to see the hand of God and the power of the priesthood and revelation. She told me her family's story and how they got here. She has twin 5 year old boys and 2 older daughters. He got called to be the bishop with the twins were <6 months old. WHAT?!?! Oh I would have been so upset. She said it was difficult and so hard, but she saw the blessings.
Then a few weeks later our new bishop was called. He moved from CA just over a year ago (just a few months before we got here). Job transfer, 2 year stint, then planning on moving back. All family was there, they missed it, just renting here, wanting/planning to move back. Then the perfect opportunity presented itself back in CA: job they wanted, parents leaving and needing someone to watch their house for them rent free for awhile, back in their old neighborhood, you see where this is going...yet they prayed and prayed and wanted it so bad, but the answer was no. So they prayed and prayed some more, this was the perfect life they wanted, it will be better for everyone and the kids...the answer was still no. 3 months later, he was called as the bishop. Sacrifice.
Why does the Lord require this of us? I'm not sure, I can't see the big picture, or the end result. But I know if I trust in what's going on and the journey he's created for me, things will be better and I'll be better for it. I need patience, I need energy, I need to trust in him. I am blessed, so I can give, it's that simple. I gave Clark to the church and I have seen the blessing for me. I still get annoyed (still probably a little too much) and I struggle, but I can handle it and now I know that. Because I have been given much, much is required of me. I'm on board with it, and his plan now.