Somedays I feel like really bad mom. In my mind I just want to run around and play with Connor all day. I tell myself when I get out of bed I'm going to do just that. I last about an hour and quickly melt to the couch. Then I get hard on myself for being lazy. Ug. A vicious cycle.
Clark always asks me, what do you want to do to have fun? I never can come up with an answer, it's sad really. Again I think fun has to be active, yet all I want to do is lye down, so no fun for me. Im such a grumpster. My rec mngmnt degree and love for the outdoors is kicking me for being so lazy! I don't want to take the energy to do anything.
But I haven't had a full nights sleep in 5 or so weeks now again. Connor didn't have his own bed while we were in the DR, so he slept with us and wanted to eat all night. Coming home, he is not happy that he has his own bed now. Poor kid, he's so sad when I put him in his crib...breaks my heart.
I think, wow, I only have one kid and can barely hold it together...Connor is such a good kid (minus the whole sleeping thing) too. I need to find my inner energy but all I want to do is sleep :)
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